If you have been following me on social media, it has been....lit...lol. I have really been growing into myself and my gifts lately. I am someone who does not like to put out a persona of something that I am not. It is funny even to say that because for a good part of my life, I have always been living behind a mask for others. Never really understanding why people had a problem with me. Little did I know that maybe their spirit knew I was not being true to myself. My Higher Self knows my potential, I was not made aware of my potential....there was a reason.
I have always felt that I was a confident person, knowing that I never had intentions of hurting people and feeling that the people around you are there for a reason. Somewhere on my journey, my innocence was taken and so was my insight. Crazy to think that we are not in control but are. I mean, we decided to sign that Soul Contract and be thrown down here right? LOL Whatever the reason or excuse for this life, here I am. The only thing I can do is live it and I have and cannot wait to continue.
We all go through things so our Higher Self will sending you so many triggering events! If you notice them and actively deny them, well....you are denying yourself. No one likes to be denied what they know they want, so you can literally bully yourself. I say bully because that is what it feels like. Someone somewhere far off, laughing at you every time you fall. "Heartless" is a good word we like to feel when we feel others are blocking our way. Looking at it from a perspective of a higher place, yea, we are being quite heartless with ourselves. Not honoring our true emotions and therefore; heartless.
My understanding of Energy has evolved to where I know I can trust what I am feeling. My Ancestors, Angels, Guides of all genres; they are with me and have never left my side. Good, bad and ugly, I have experienced things that I never thought I would have. Why thou? Because of the programming. There really is not a single person to blame with this, this is just life. If I have had my struggles, I know everyone has. And, that is ok. There is not victim, there is no suspect; it just is.
How can I be ok with what has transpired in my life? What can I do about it? Can't take back the sexual, mental, physically and emotional abuse; I am not Thanos but what a cool thought huh? But I can take that pain and hold it to my heart and dissipate all the ugliness to see the Light. A snap of some fingers? No, this took me 10 long years to finally realize that I had manifested all of this. I create all this to show myself that I am the badass, confident woman that I have always been; took a helluva lot of elbow grease. My ego is strong, just like everyone else's and the only way to crack it was this journey.
Spirit picked me up sent me on a quest to really see that pain that was blocking my heart. The many of years that Ancestor on both sides of my family had to fight for what they thought was right. Can I be mad? No. I had no control over what happened to them, all I could do was be open and accept. I saw, felt, and experienced it all and just within this lifetime. The crazy thing was, they were still....happy! Like wtf, who goes through all this shit and is like, "YAY!!!" My Ancestors do.
I know that in this reality, I will not be able to stay on such a happy note all the time, we are Beings of cycles. So if my Ancestors can be happy that even though their life had struggles most of the time (like we all do), they are still pleased with what has come to fruition. That is just nothing but beautiful!
Spirit is not done with me yet, I wish I knew what was next but where would the fun be in that? They just keep telling me to wait. They are really proud of the fact that I no longer hold resentment towards myself. SO for those of you who knew mw back in the day....please allow me to reintroduce myself.....
My name is Nicole Carothers a.k.a StarMoon Shadows. I am an Intuitive Medium and I speak to the dead. Amature Astrologer and Healing Enthusiast. I connect with the Sun, Moon and Stars to help bring understanding of Self and nurture your Inner Child.
Much Love and Ase
